. : : さとの intermezzo : : .

2006-03-19T21:29:00.000+07:00

sebel bgt...susa mao kmn2. Kaki gw lemes bgt....bukan cman itu, tangan jg ikutan. Hhh....BeTe dah...kmn2 hrs megang tongkat...dah kyk zatoichi XD hahahahaha. Yg gw binun, knp penyakit gw sama kyk bokap gw...keluhan na kaki lemes. Masa gw hrs menjalani 30x suntikan lg, oh man, that's pain in a butt, 'yaa know. Biarpun dah kebal nieh pantad gw, tp tetep aj, cape ke dokter na, males bgt...soal na ga ad yg nyediain supply buat ngisi perut. Haha.

Oh yaa, another fact, emosi gw isa tiba2 redam stlh disuntik. Dunno why. Chemical reaction? lol

Mslh2 yg mao gw keluarin biar gw na lega...
first of all, gw selalu berusaha, apalagi stlh gw tau bner klo gw punya penyakit paru2. Gw tuw selalu berusaha supaya gw menahan emosi gw. Karena klo nda...hehe, nanti gw takut ad yg robek...wah kacaoooo jadi na XDDD Gw khan punya nyokap yg mesti gw jaga...anak, istri jg...(LOooooh??) ga deh, becanda, hyahahahahahaha...gw terus terang aj, gw ogah mati mengenaskan ato so-so aj...i prefered die in the arms of a girl who i loved, OR a person who is my bestfriend. Mksd na biar dramatic gichuuuuuuuuu...wahahaha ga laah. Smua na suda ad yg ngatur...jalanin aj. Tp berusaha tetep bole donk *rolling over the floor n smile*

Second, umm, apa yah..? MNRT LOE??!! mnrt gw, once, prnh berpikir klo untung org bisu. Mulut na ga isa digunakan buat maki2 org. Then, org buta, dia nda perlu melihat kejahatan dunia yg merusak diri na. Teruss, org tuli, ga bisa denger kata2 panas kli yaa? (apa seh??) Xp Yaa inti na seh, gw bersyukur punya gw smua na normal, well, at least sejauh ini. Gw hrs menjaga n mikir gmn cara na pake tuw smua pemberian dr Yang Di Atas supaya tetep stay on track. Fiuh...i'll try my best...!!

Third, nah yg ini susa bgt ga dipikirin. Gw sedang berusaha buat berubah. Utk jadi anak baik, tidur tepat waktu, mkn pada jam na, beuh, pokok na smua yg bae2 dhe...klo dipikir2, klo gw blg diri gw yg skrg ada INI!! Pandangan gw yg pertama, wah it's definitely me, it can't be changed!! Hahaha, sempit bgt yah pikiran gw XDDD padahal itu pola idup yg gw jalanin berubah tiap taon. hahahahaha. Mantan cw gw menasehati, itu smua isa berubah. Hoho, she made my eyes opened real wide, hell yeah! kata2 dia semua na bner n gw ngerasa ga ad salah na. Toh buat kebaikan gw jg...

Gw bahagia bgt krn dia hadir buat peringatin gw. Memberi advice...yang mnrt gw, selalu memberikan kesan seperti papa gw. Kata2 na hangat. N pasti na, menusuk ke hati. Thank you, dah jadi malaikat penenang gw. Thx for everything.

Yuup...ad 1 ato 2 beban yg bisa gw angkat dr kepala gw. Gw yakin cukup berat buat diangkat...tp i'm working on it. Soal na dah ga perlu gw mikirin begituan. Just wanna smile with all the sweet memories she gave me...hohoho

that's for today, tired, gonna take some medicine n go to sleep

Have a Nice Day!!

2006-02-08T22:30:00.000+07:00

And so i've buried my dad and done the ceremony today. There is both happiness and sadness within me. He's now free from the cruel of the world, even i'll be missing him so much. Now i'm in charge in the house, i feel i'll almost begin everything from the start, start all over again. Hahaha, what the hell, i'll work harder from now on...yosh! ganbarimasuyo~

Another thing, love is in the air. I have a feeling that she like me from her strange sms she gave me some days ago...And today, i've revealed everything. Aaaaah, i was speechless when i heard she's care bout me...haha, silly me XD I'm even start to like her because she's the only one of my friend that is, aah, 'beside me' when i needed someone's shoulder to cry on. She usually asked me if i have my lunch, or maybe dinner. She always supports me with her gentle n sweet words.

And about the girl i mentioned before...let just stay as a friend. I need a person who cared about me first better than i care bout her first...time surely change, ah? heh, i've just lost someone i really love in my whole live, the one that i adore very much...he's the one who love n care bout me FIRST, he deserves my loyalty til i've died...he deserves it. Now you see now why i need someone who love me first...because he's gone

I might tell yaa a story or two, soon or later...c yaa!!

Ohh, btw...
Today, wednesday, 8 feb 2006, 10.30pm, we are a couple since that time.
I lost someone who i really love...The one who can control my anger, lived as my love, essence of my life...
Then she's there, standing awaiting her turns to take care of me, to control my anger, to become my love, to be the essence of my life...
Now as she said, "I'm yours, pei2 ^^"
And as i said, "I'm yours, mon2 ^^"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

My tale...

2006-01-30T00:56:00.000+07:00

It's been a while nee~?
A lot of shits happen, some DID bother me, and some didn't...oh well, life goes on...
belakangan ini gw byk berinteraksi dgn org2 baru, and gw pun mengalami kasus dgn org2 baru ini. Mungkin gw ngeliat sesuatu yg laen n baru, tp yg sbnr na dah ad di luar sana sblm gw ngeliat ke situ. Hahaha, funny to say this. But, i met such strange people. Tp yaah, gw sendiri jg aneh sbnr na lol Tp ad bbrp di antara mslh yg mao gw share di blog...hmmm, buat ngeringanin beban otak gw aj kli yee...XDDD
And so, gw lgsg 'tek' begitu ngeliat nie cw mungil in 'costume'. Berasa aneh dikit, but it's ok. Then, gw ngeliat dia lg di anime vaganza, tp yeah, rada burem, tp jelas itu dia, i knew it for the very first time i saw her there..."Hey! It's her!! The one i saw in the pics last time". Selang 2 hari, gw join komunitas dia org. Bbrp hari, sepatah dua patah kata terlontar dr dia di forum. Gw semakin memberanikan diri buat nge-reply. N akhir na gw add dia di MSN. Pertama, sama sekali ga ad keberanian buat say "ay ay!" ke dia. Haha, how silly. But, tiba2 dia nyapa dgn gaya na yg ceria di suatu ketika. Kita akhir na chat lama bgt, dr sore ampe malem...ampe kyk na dimarahin ama mama na --;;; So...kita dah sama2 mo off. Dia na dah blg Oyasumi n gw na jg dah blg sweet dreamzzz. Passss, gw mao off, dia manggil lagi...kata na "kanpeiii!! Tunggu!!". And i was like o.O
"Bole minta nomer HP na? biar gmpng dihubungin gt..."
"Ooh ok...081********"
"Ini nomer gw...081******* ok dhe klo gt, gw off doloe. Oyasumi"
Yaa kira2 seperti percakapan na...
Bsok pagi na, kira2 jem 6.30an, dia sms. Tp gw ga tau tuh sapa, krn gw emang ga save nomer na...mana tau jg dia bakal sms +_+ Eeh, pas siang na, pas dia dah plg skul, kita sms terus ampe sore, ampe dia abies pulsa...oh man, my mistake --;; Terus bsok na jg sama...tp beda na ampe malem...
Nah pas hr ketiga, gw cman sms bntr doank. N pas malem na, ntah knp gw nangis...gw nangisin dia...Oh my, gimme a break, kta aj belom ktm, liat dia dgn jelas jg belom, dah sempet2 na nangisin org laen yg gw ga kenal bner? hhh...OK, life goes on. Gw akhir na berniat buat cari tahu perasaan aneh ini.
Selang bbrp waktu, gw mulai sadar klo gw kyk na dmen ama dia ntah knp. N kita sms'an ampe skrg n kita selalu sama2 mao ktm satu sama laen. Bbrp kli ad kesempatan, tp selalu berhalangan. Dia ampe2 menyayangkan kalau kalau hrs ktm pas 1 hari stlh valentine krn mnrt dia itu waktu yg cukup lama. Padahal cman 3 mgg lg kira2 loch. Kta seh mao ktm lebi cpet, tp na kadang gw na yg maseh takut ktm dia. Hmmm, takut aj, ga tau knp.
Byk yg blg klo dia kasi lampu ijo. But again, ragu selalu maseh ad. Khawatir nanti klo ktm gmn gt. Takut garink, takut diem2an, takut segala macem yg ga penting2 amet sbnr na >.<
And, it's valentine day...klo gw kasi bunga n coklat, wah dah pasti gw dicengin abies ama anak2 forum...kacau nanti na --;;;

Anyway, ini cerita kyk na akan terus berlanjut, n kyk na mulai terus akan terupdate di blog ini....huahahaha, dah kyk promosi aj XDDD Ok lah, dah jem 1,45 AM...c yaa later

Not again...

2005-12-23T14:30:00.000+07:00

Aiyah! Last wednesday went to school..
Late for about 10 minutes and I thought i was gonna pay for Rp. 5000,- for that
After got there, I saw pretty crowded, not as usual. And suddenly, my friends passed me by and told me that the lecturer was absent. I said, "DANG!! Not again..."
Oh my, it was the second time , i guess. Now i got another class in saturday, everybody may attend it, and also if they didn't want to, it's ok, the lecturer will open it anyway. To redeem his absent, yaa know...
But aah, 24 Dec, want to go to church with Ciru, but then i got a class. Dammit!! Guess i can't exchange gift with others...i hate to miss this X'mas +_+
On 25 Dec, i'm suppose to have fun with friends, but i got to study for my final exam...and worse, i got no holiday...Arrrgggh, what kind of school is that?? @.@
Oh yeah, i need to see my result in Business English subject...it's OUT!! Yay!!

Ummm, remind me something...
Yesterday, i saw it, sooooo beautiful. So cute, smooth, and it's pink. Errr, no, it's not panties >..>
I think it's time for it to bloom once again...Aaah, i've been waiting for this for such a long time , sooo happy XDDD

Haha, almost forgot...
Soon, on 2 - 4 feb 2006, i'll be cosplaying Chaco or maybe Sid from Suikoden Series. This time, i have to walk with bare foot (and it'll be equip with imitation claws) and fake bat's wings attach on my back...
And also, tomorrow, i'll try the make up for valentine days...hope i can be soo beautiful with that, miaw :3

squash squash squash

2005-12-12T23:54:00.000+07:00

I finally realized what happen to me lately
The strong feeling and bonds between my dad and me
a couple days after i got this lung's problem,
My dad got sick, a lot of cough, and it's not like normal person's cough
oldies' cough, 'yaa know. He got medical treatment and got his daily injection.
Though, we got different problems...but it's still lung's problems
Me, Myself, start to cough sometimes.
Anyway, have you ever feel that you can't take a deep breath like usual?
Have you ever feel that each time you take a breath, something's squashing your chest?
haha, i know it's not easy for me. I become, somehow, more sensitive. Just like girls' getting their 'hard' time, if 'yaa know what i mean +_+
-----------------------------------------------------------

Rage

Fire burns the sky,
Where meteor strikes the land.
Thunder is screaming and crying,
just like being punished in the underground.

This is the feeling inside me,
The stone with a heart-shaped is pounding hard,
Ready to crumble!!

Love is another important thing
I beg to have my heart back
I need that to show my love to someone once more
Wishing to see the beautiful world together, two of us

Tornado of dust is dancing angrily,
Piercing wind is licking the skin,
With this brave soul,
I'm crossing over with no fear

Human's feeling...
The thing that can't be underestimated
Because of its' mystery

Love is another important thing
I beg to have my heart back
I know what i'm doing,
I just wanna be with you

and then...

The clock ticked away slowly
Alone in the dark, i think...
Asking myself impatiently
Do i still have my heart?

Hey, sister! There i found a shooting star,
At starry night, on my journey to the north.
I casted my wish silently,
Hopefully could meet you soon enough.

Love is another important thing
I beg to have my heart back
I need that to show my love to someone once more
Wishing to see the beautiful world together, two of us

lung's problem

2005-12-08T20:41:00.000+07:00

I think it's getting worse today...
It's so painful
Hurt to breath
Something....like.....piercing....my chest...
Always...fail to sneeze
I know there's something's wrong
What should i do?
I do not want my mom worried about me
So i always put a small smile on my face
It's just a mask...
Do i live to suffer?
After getting pressure mentally
Now i got pressure physically

Yesterday journal...
I went to Plaza Indonesia with my friend. It was time to go home. We decided to go to the restroom before we left. I was so shocked, the negative energy in men's restroom was very strong. Once i went through the door, it hit me hard on my head. I thought i would keep away from that room. But i was not. I washed my hand, i knew it was watching over me. I didn't dare to take any trouble. So i left as fast as i could.
Alas, it was following me. But only a few of them. I believe it still waiting outside of my house. I'm not sure if tonight i was gonna meet it or not. If yes, surely i gotta do what i gotta do...

Location : 1st floor, men's restroom (in front of the elevator), Plaza Indonesia

New record!!

2005-12-05T00:14:00.000+07:00

Yesterday, i made another new record. Yay! Not taking bath in last 34 hours...wew, i'm a cat, totally. I wonder, when i was a little, my dad called me 'piglet'. A couple years later, he gave me another nick and that is 'young of a goat'. Do i look like one of those? +_+

Today, worse than yesterday. My right shoulder and arm haven't recovered just yet, but my left shoulder was start getting painful. Ugh...that is bad.
Next, something did happen with my lung. Each time i takin' a breath, i feel like i was being nailed on the chest. Why is that? It's Xtremely painful. A lot more painful than shoulder's problem.
Today i just suffered a lil bit too much. Haha, i thought i was about to end up my day in hospital *big laugh*

I had a little discussion with a friend of mine that is a kakashi wannabe in every cosparty. If only my next project was Sannin Jiraiya, then he'll invite me to team up with him, as a guest, to perform something on stage. I said i will think bout that. I think i can handle the costume, but i don't think i can take up the pressure. Being pervert out there with jiraiya costume? It's another way to suicide. But then, it's a pretty good offer and idea, though.
First, vash the stampede was poping out from my mind. The costume? Surely it'll take a lot of cost. There is something more important, and it's all bout the hair. Arrghh, long hair means getting kicked from the class. Still thinking bout this one.
Second, Nicholas Wolfwood's weapon. Me, only making the huge weapon. The costume isn't very complicated. But then, huge weapon means self-destruct. Ugh, so kewl, yet so painful.

AV

2005-12-03T00:18:00.000+07:00

Debut...
3rd winner...
Cosplay...
Unbelieveable...
Totally speechless...

Ok, i admit my costume was sucks. I was not well prepared. 'Yaa see, everything was absolutely different from the plan, but why? Only wondering...I need some answers n facts.
The fact that i ruined my own costume, and i felt like a dork. Not such as a warrior like himself, me, totally failure Xp

Haha, just feel that i was not deserved the award, though, i appreciated it a lot. I met many new people, especially miss Pinku, kunishirou-san, a guy from Gensui, SilverXargent, and so many more. And ah, because it was my debut, my very first going in a cosplay party, i got a lot of experiences. Finally, i was successful in completing my goals. Now i know how it feel to be a cosplayer, how tiring it is to be a cosplayer, how hard it is to be a cosplayer. Yeah, a lot of experiences.

Thank you for anyone who have helped me. Especially, Dawi, Ciru and Ojek. Without you guys, i woon't stand up upthere on the stage. No, not even put my foot on the front gate. You guys were willing to waste your time with me, only for get out there and buy all the materials with me. Thank you, thank you so much. Surely i will pay all of my debts to 'yaa. Thank you once again.

Wew...hurt. My shoulder was taking the sword a lil bit too much. My stomach and my back, i won't wear those armors ever again, i swear...

So hungry...

random thoughts :
1. Cc Pinku cocok pake kimono pas tadi...8D
2. Kok Shinji na mungil yah? luthu klo diliat dr jauh, mirip boneka...XDDD
3. Soenk as Barret = supa kewl!!
4. Om H' dash...waktu jd sephiroth, senyum na mematikan, apalagi pas diliat dr dket pas gw dikasi hadiah :3 padahal pengen salaman ama om H'Dash, dasar pedang bagong, gara2 loe gw ga isa salaman ama om H' Y-Y
5. Marty kok lebi langsing skrg?
6. Pusink denger lagu2 j-rock di AV. Dah ga kenal lagu na lg...Xp

A new life...

2005-12-01T23:41:00.000+07:00

1st December daa~!
Aah...finally, i have awaken from 'death'. Ugh, it's so damn peaceful, i wish i could have that time a lil bit longer. But nah, i have so many works to be done and many people to be helped. But then, i have no idea what kind of problem i will face later in my tale...oh well, life goes on...

About the cosplay thingy,
It's tomorrow, and i haven't finished all the armors. That is bad. Ok, i can take care of that, all i have to do is just don't panic. Mmm, it's panic here...XDDD
So, the info made me more panic. It said the cosplayer have to take a number, and it has a limit. Only for 50 numbers aka 50 cosplayers. I have a plan to be late on the party, but guess can't do that. Must hurry!!
I think i'm gonna miss my first quiz in Financial Accouting class. 4 or 5 quiz's result will be divided with 4 or 5, that's for midtest's result. Arrrghh, i think i'm gonna have this 'C' grade again in this subject Y-Y

Aaah, got to go sleep. Wake up early tomorrow. Hope i finished Guan Ping Project on time. Yosh
!! Gambarimasu...!!!

Coming soon...

2005-11-26T20:22:00.000+07:00

errr...i feel better today...a lot better...
Crying DOES help...for some people, of course
I don't think it's a girlie act...
Since lost of someone that you really loved is a hard thing to face, 'yaa know what i'm sayin'?
This time, i was not crying because of other's problems, but mine
I realized i DID cry many times for other people, but not for me...it's hard
I realized i DID cry for me just a couple times, it's harder
And i felt even harder to take all the pain by myself
I'd rather to live in pain alone, than i have to share it with close friends
ugh...i have some sort of trouble in trusting people, not even my own parents
I don't even know it's some kind of trauma or what...
I don't even know when this happen to me...
I can't change my past, so i just walk with everything i've got now

and A LOT OF THINGS HAPPENED!!!!
HUAHAHAHHAAHHA.....time to go!!!!

Boku wa bakayarou...

2005-11-25T12:15:00.000+07:00

Kamu selalu berharap aku bertutur kata yang sopan
Kamu pun selalu mengingatkan aku untuk selalu menjaga diriku untukmu seorang
Kamu pun berpesan setiap malam saat kita harus terpisah tempat supaya aku menggosok gigiku, mencuci kakiku, dan mencuci mukaku
Kamu, demi pertemuan kita, menyarankan aku berpakaian sopan, kelak orang tua mu menerimaku
Kamu selalu ingin bertemu denganku, bertatap denganku, berbincang denganku walaupun hanya sekejap

Harapan yang telah kulimpahkan kepadamu sebelumnya pun sirna
Hilang entah tertiup angin mana, entah hanyut di samudra mana
Sudah lama aku ingin kembali, sudah lama aku menunggu kehadiranmu, sudah lama aku mencarimu
Entah apa diriku harus pupus menghadapi ini, Entah apa jiwaku harus lenyap menghadapi ini
Tidak seorang pun yang tahu menahu, tidak kamu, tidak aku

Benar apa kata mereka
Apa yang terjadi esok, tidak lah kita ketahui
Kesempatan ada pada hari yang kita pijak hari ini

Sekarang kesempatan telah hilang, musnah begitu mudahnya
Bagaimana jika dirimu seorang untukku? Aku tidak akan mengetahui...
Sebab aku tidak lagi melihat hari esok
Aku tidak tahu kemana aku harus pergi menjalani hidup ini
Dengan ini, penyesalan yang akan selalu menghantuiku

Sekarang kesempatan telah hilang, musnah begitu mudahnya
Bagaimana jika di hatimu hanya ada aku seorang? Aku tidak akan mengetahui...
Sebab aku tidak lagi melihat hari esok
Aku tidak tahu dimana aku harus pergi mencari arti hidup ini
Dengan ini, kehampaan yang akan selalu menghantuiku

Betapa mudahnya hatiku dipermainkan seperti ini
Aku penuh bimbang yang tidak berarti banyak
Setidaknya aku ingin ada yang mendengarkan resahku
Tidak ada tempat dan waktu untuk itu semua

Seandaikan kutulis semua ini di atas folio bergaris
maka tidak akan berarti apa - apa
Sebab air mata ini cukup untuk mencabik kertasku
Kepedihan untukmu, Kesengsaraan untukku
Apa yang harus aku lakukan?
Tidak ada satu pun yang memberi jalan keluar dari semua ini
Apa harus kutunggu sampai aku meneteskan darah dari mataku?
Siapa pun itu, tolong hentikan tangisan anak bodoh ini

maafkan aku
Diri ini tidak bisa memenuhi janji setia itu
Sebab diri ini telah sekarat
Cukup dicaci maki orang banyak
Cukup diludahi orang banyak
Cukup dipecut orang banyak
Cukup dihina orang banyak

Tidak peduli aku telah mati berapa kali
Mereka tetap membangkitkan aku dari liang kubur
Untuk kembali melakukan hal yang sama

Apakah ini dosaku atau takdirku?

Aku tidak mau menyerahkan orang lemah sepertiku untuk menjadi pendampingmu
Kelak kamu pun akan mengalami penderitaan yang lebih
Tidak peduli betapa suci dirimu mencintaiku, aku akan tetap pergi
Cinta tidak bisa dipaksakan
Aku mencintaimu, tapi bila aku tidak mampu menjagamu, apalah arti cintaku ini?

Biar bagaimana pun juga, aku hanya lah manusia
Punya batas, punya kelebihan, dan punya kekurangan

Biar lah surat ini menutup hidupku yang lama
Sebab aku harus bersiap - siap saat aku mati
Untuk kembali ditarik di bulan December

1 tetes air mata dapat merubah hati seseorang...
Aku percaya...
Aku percaya...

~Don't be Cruel~

what a day...whoooaaa...!!

2005-11-22T21:02:00.000+07:00

It's tuesday, 22nd november 2005

First, i was so exciting because i thought my costume was finished already. But no. I went to the tailor to check it out. He said tomorrow he'll begin to work on my costume. "Hmmm, just do it right, my man. I leave this one to yaa. I'll be checking it again tomorrow.", and that's what i said. I leave and continued to buy things with my dad. Nice to have my dad with me, i didn't have to use my money for my project. Haiz, i DID feel guilty for that...>.>

ON the evening, I began to work on my project...and start receiving sms from friendsss...confused. Finally, i refused their another offers to take me on a movie. I knew, i had something more important to do than watched Harry Potter.
It's been 6 hours i worked with my dad's man. Aaaah...it's kinda hard to make the armors. Start from the vest, tummy's and back's protector, plus one for the arm and two for the legs. Well, i tried to put the tummy's and back's protector on me, i tied myself with my belt...HARD. I could't stand it, very hard to move, to squat, to do things. Arrrgh...!! But hey! it's quite fun afterall, HUAhahahaha!!! I made it for days and i must wear it for more less 6 hours, and it feel like i'm gonna suffer for years because of those costume, the armors and a huge weapon. I think i must work hard on the day...i'll be carry this 'almost 6 kilos' sword, along with complex 'silly' armors, etc. Haizzz, must training all day, the only way for a step closer to be a general. Oh well, life goes on...

Next, i almost finished all of those in 5.43pm. I mean, duh, i had a promise on 6pm XDDD
I was like...
"oh my...oh my...this is bad...this is bad, must hurry *accidently cut own finger* o.O....*somehow speechless* w00t!!! This... is... worse... Arrrrggghhh.... first aid!! first aid kit!!! Where's first aid kit?!! I'm bleeding!!! And it's wet..."
10 mnt before 6...
*change clothes* Mom, Dad, i got a lil place nearby, gotta go!! C yaa!!
*Mom's calling* Hey hey, you are full of dust and dirt, take a bath, do it!
*Again...i was like...8| ^somehow speechless^ * Damn! I forgot to take a bath...
After a little confusing moment, i arrived on the spot...
Sms' coming, "Where are you? I was like being here since 5.30pm..."
I thought, "w00t!!! Why don't tell me at the first place? I was feeling guilty to keep them waiting for such a long time...*sigh*..."
bla...bla...bla...things happen...
I got a present...and i'll wear it...as i promised...last time.
bla...bla...bla...things happen...
I was taking my time, playing the arcade for 6 coins only. Then, I was walking home, a nice feeling, being blew with yoru no kaze. Yeah, i haven't feel this for such a long time. Since i was graduated from high school. And yeah, Gajah Mada to Tomang take at least 30 minutes on foot lol How great, i can't feel my legs.

Last...but not the least...
Request from someone, so here it is...
Hey!!! Nice song they've got. Good voices. Though, i didn't hear any vibrate thingy from them. Cute faces. And most of all, the thing that make me fall in love from this PV is the event where he was touching her head. Cheering her up. Making noodle, dunno if it was ramen or udon or maybe soba. But i guess it's ramen. His expression when makin' a happy face and a shy face, his act on that girl...i might said that's what most girl want his man do. So, the overall, impressive. 9 out of 10.
There you go! I hope i make no offense, it's my opinion and Have a Nice Day!

Ooh, another thing...
Have no chance to talk with yaa' on MSN. Sorry, dro, zanburou-maru, general dante, Typhoon, Jiro, terence, and everyone on the heroes of chaos. Email me if need something, will yaa?

p.s to zanburou-maru : bilang ke dia org, gw lg sibuk ngerjain project. Keteteran nieh Y-Y Malah lupa beliin musket buat anak2 lg >.> Gw perang gw ad gun, anak2 gw pake paan...? piso dapur? Hibah gold na plzzz...pajak nagoya mahal euy!!

solitude

2005-11-21T22:46:00.000+07:00

I was standing tonight on the roof, alone

"Life could be hard sometimes, I must be strong...'Til i found you, I must keep on facing people's problem. Hoping i can stop being involve into someone's love story. It's so fucking hurt my fragile heart. No one will understand my feeling all this time, not my best friends, not even my parents. Absolutely, no one. Is it my fate or my sin? People keep on torturing me with their words, they forgot themselves, they forgot who i am. I feel...it's no use in helping people, they don't treat me as a human, they slap me like a bitch. Am i just a tool? Am i just a toy? This life become confusing me somehow. Even though, i won't walk away. I'm getting stronger each time they hit me.

A small hope and A blur dream, that are what i carry in this life. It's enough to make me warm in a rainy season and cool me down in a dry season. Afterall, i'm just a human. I have so many weakness. But then, i'm standing here like a proud wolf. I am the survivor, that is hard to be found in this life. I'm proud to be myself like now. Nobody can make me fall to the ground when i spread my wings and fly in the sky. But then...afterall, i'm just a human."

Looking up to the stars...
"Flesh of my father, blood of my mother, i swear i'll be a survivor 'til God take my breath away. Still so many things to see in this life...

Die? Ain't my style, sweet pie!!!

I have a feeling there's something's comin' in December. I should be prepare for worst, hmmm, time to go..."

Time to go

2005-11-21T13:49:00.000+07:00

I started the opening, I did the process, i finished it with a final blow...
No one can get in my way, absolutely no one
One down, many more to go~!

Why do people so weak...?
Why do people so scare...?
Why do people so undependable...?
Why do people can't be trust...?
Why do people hard to grow...?
Why do people so lazy...?
Why do people hard to open up their mind...?
Why do people always tell lie inside themselves...?

I tell 'yaa these, especially those who got frog's mind...
You said you are a human...where's the prove?
Blame people for own mistake? Is that a real human do?
Scare of something that is unreasonable? Is that a real human do?
Never think of what you're doing? Is that a real human do?
Runaway from the truth? Is that a real human do?
Never want to learn the lesson of life? Is that a real human do?
Most of all, Can't face ur worst enemy, that is yourself? Is that a real human do?

Are you deserve to be a human...ask others...ask yourself...ask for the truth...

Arigatou yo~o...!!!

2005-11-20T23:57:00.000+07:00

So many things happen today lol
In da morning, i went to the market, to check the tailor up. Finally he got back from his furusato. Ugh...i was like waiting for him a year. Glad he was here now in Jakarta. Oh well, i guess i'm too, must work hard. I won't let down anyone who help me in this project. Guan Ping project must keep on going and it's time to use my ego...Yosh!!! GAMBARIMASU!!! HUUUURIIIIYAAAA!!! miaaaw...! :3

Lunch time, i was pretending to be an 'asshole'. I guess, my acting skill still good and work just like in 4 years ago. And it might be too good. So accidently, i turned to be a real asshole. Being hated by a friend or someone, it's quite usual, at least for me. I don't want cause any trouble, it's enough. It'll be better if i back off. I see and goin through many things in life. Now i've learned and always live in 'free mind' state. I feel like i stand up on the top of the mountain and see troubles down there. Solving problem quietly...i won't help people, except they come to me seek for help. Afterall, I'm just a human.

Evening, some friends were asking me out on monday. Haizzz, so many things i have to do on that day. But reject their offer, means insulting them. Oh well, life goes on...

Tonight, my dad just got back from HK. So happy. Finally, i have a dinner with him again, just with him, the one that i adore amongst all the men on earth, on this whole world. A father and a son dinner. And soon, i hope i can do 'a father and a son' activity on tuesday. Waaaaaaaaaaaa....~!! So happy, coz soon, i'm gonna start my own career in HK 8D Thx for all your support, dad...not forgeting you also, mom. Soshite, minna-san de...ano...honto ni arigatou gozaimasu. Thx for takin' care of this baka^neko ;3

No way...!!!

2005-11-19T23:35:00.000+07:00

I think i catch a cold...
Now, i really hate water...
Especially the wet and cold ones...
But, i don't want to be a real cat...
Waaaaaaaaaaaaaa....!!!
...
Ewww, it's itchy there...
*Scratch* *Scratch*
omg...i'm a cat now +_+
miaaaw...*yawn*

Secret Keeper

2005-11-19T03:25:00.000+07:00

Just a secret keeper
I don't know which the right thing nor the wrong one
Keep someone's secrets
It's my job
Afterall i'm just a human

Just a secret keeper
I don't know what the sin is
I don't know what the love for
Though, i understand it
Afterall i'm just a human

Just a secret keeper
I don't know many things in life
No one ever help me
I walk alone with this empty heart
Just like a wolf, though, afterall i'm just a human

Just a secret keeper
I don't know if i do such sins
I don't know if i'm hungry for love
Though, i'm the only one who know myself
Just like a wolf, even, afterall i'm just a human

Great power comes with great responsibility
Here, stand like a young wolf,
It is time to choose,
How i am gonna use my power to run this life,
I will go through hell and heaven,
To find the meaning of my life, to find my existence in the world
Without knowing sin or love
Because i know, i suffer enough for those
No more cry, no more tears
No fear, No doubt, No boundaries

~Don't be Cruel~

Wednesday without mercy!

2005-11-16T11:58:00.000+07:00

I slept at 4.30 am in da morning, but then i already woke up at 6.30 am. My mom was mad to me, i really dunno what she's mumbling about. But yeah, i think it's all bout me sleeping in the morning. Don't care bout it. Too tired to think.
Several things in mind :
1. My legs...hurt so bad...ugh
2. Sanseketsu 2 ot whatever its name, i love that game
3. Double utawara, Double beatboxer, double fun, double YAY!!
-------------------------------------------------------------------------

About something which related with final exam...
Only got C in Principal Management. It's all because i got my ass in hospital. Cih!
And Tonight, i was just got my final exam for the 3rd time. Business english is never been this easy. I have confused for a couple minutes, though. My friends were asking me for the answers. Whew! Do you think it's easy enough for me? I'm a mortal, i need to think too. My concentration was a lil bit messy. A lot of sms came to me, but can't reply it all...Aah, just wanna get some sleep lol

It's Tuesday!!

2005-11-15T23:58:00.000+07:00

Memories fly away through a street
A small street on the corner of the city
Simply hides a lot of human's whipers into a song
A cold song on the corner of the city

Happiness and sadness just another colours of life
Why even bother to think about it?
It will somehow meaningless...

Feel want to take everything away from my heart
Feel want to run away without burdens
Face things that can blow me apart
Face me the way, one step closer to you...

-Don't be Cruel-

p.s : ngeboong sala, jujur malah tmbh sala. Jadi na gmn dunkzzz?
-------------------------------------------------------------------

Ari selasa yg cukup menyenangkan...
I went to cybercafe with my pals, enjoying every second that i'd say always be precious. 180 minutes passed away, we stopped playin', then went to the counter. I thought something's wrong with the bills, but no...
We entered the wrong area which cost us double...Arrrrggghhh!! I knew it something's wrong!!
We had been tricked by another counter girl...haizzzz We supposed to take the left area, but we took the right area. I checked out the bill meter, and it moved fast.
After 2 hours playin'....

Sato : "Eh bro, liat *kasi liat bill meter* kok isa segini?"
Children : "Ah kyk na kmrn jg sama, jgn takut lah"
S : "Bah, kmrn kta maen 4 jem hrg na segini!! ini baru 2 jem, bro!"
C : "Hah?!! Iya yah, kmrn dah 4 jem hrg na segitu..."
S : "Bro, loe mending tanya dah tuh. Berabe ntar klo nda ditanya."
C : "ok2. *Tanya mbak jaga counter di samping na* Mbak, mo nanya, ini bayaran na kok isa mahal gitu yah? knp tuh?"
Mbak : "Sama kok sama yg di sblh, hrg na yaa segitu. Maen br bentar dipikirin, jelas meteran na jln na cpet, hehe."
C : "Ooh, gt yah? ok d. *berbalik mengarah ke gw* Oy! hrg na sama, bego!!"
S : "Huh? sumpe loe? bah, masa iya maal gini, ga percaya gw"
*lanjutin maen* 1 hour later...

S : "*liat bill meter* BAH!! ebad ebad, bro. Mending loe tanya SEKALI lagi, sblm gw ngibrit dr nih gamestation. Ga cukup gila buat byr ini, malah tadi gw beli mie gorenk pake frestea lg."
C : "Ho oh, kok maal yah. Gw tanya doloe d. *pergi ke counter*"
*Setelah bbrp mnt kemudian*

S : "Gmn?"
C : "di right panel, 4rebu..."
S : *speechless* *pay the bills*
S : "let's get our ass out of here." +_+;;
-------------------------------------------------------------------

Today, i spent a lot of time with Ciru + 'V'. Take a walk with Ciru especially is a fun thing to do. We knew each other for over than 13 years. Surely he know me very well and vice versa. We just bought b'day present for our friend. And it would be a pillow, so she can have a nice sleep with that. Hope she like it lol
-------------------------------------------------------------------

Someone that called himself 'K', I pretty much hate him. Well, pissed off actually. His pattern of life : wake up from sleep at 9, dota + msn voice with me, sms a lil bit, abandon me on msn, call 'her', back msn-ing with me but just want to say 'so sleepy, bye bye', end of story.
I say this so many times and i'm gonna say it again on my blog...."get a life, jgn kyk org susa lah"
I'll be pissing off you back soon on 'that' day, so dun worry. Nee~ am i cute? NO, i'm supa cute :3

-------------------------------------------------------------------

Random thoughts
1. I love that arcade, think i wanna play that again tomorrow, or not...
2. I get final exam on wednesday. Study? Nah...Not my style...!
3. It's a beautiful full moon daa~!! tonite!!
4. Took a shower, 16 hours passed, until now, haven't taken another shower yet...*itchy* *scratch* *scratch* Miaaaaaw.... :3
5. Kiddies...Keele said he's gettin' one in Kanguroo country (not ganguroo country lol), i wonder wif whoo?
6. Tuei mien te ni hai, khan guo lai...*blushed* Btw, ngo em sek kong chung wen, tan se wo hui ciang guo yi...if u understand what i am sayin', kewl!! let us meet in HK. Wheeeeeeeeee....!!

monday is OK lah!!

2005-11-14T14:16:00.000+07:00

Today is another fine day to take a walk!!
I feel somehow it's hotter than last month. Hey!! it's almost december, why is it still hot? +_+
Anyway, i think this hot weather is good for my plant...it will bloom in no time, haha
Ciru, let me take care of your plant, it's my turn to show my love...wheeeeeeeeeeee!!!
I really hope you can see the flowers in a week, well, more or less, just leave it to me, you know we always trust each other, nee~?

Monday, 14 Nov '05
I got my last class today, before my final exam...
I was supposed to be DO already, actually. And i dun have any chance to have a final exam. But then...
Finally my lecturer gave me a shot for the final exam. He wish that I get the highest score in his class +_+ So he fixed my *bad* absent, and letting me to kick ass later on the day
As for my lecturer, i personally thank you from the deep of my heart. I won't forget ur kindness and of course, ur drawing skill lol
As for such a rascal like me, i will still the same. Absent plus bad result equal not my style. but absent plus good result equal it's my style, sweet pie!!

Random thoughts
1. Why does everybody keep asking me, "who's Ven?", yamero yo~o!!
2. I got my brand new trap glue for mouse :3

Ven, i'm in love

2005-11-13T21:28:00.000+07:00

And tequiero...
And i love her...
And i don't know how to say this to her...
And i feel guilty for her on that day...

-----------------------------------------------------

Here then, at the fountain, i sit alone
Looked up at the starry night, wide and very clear
Suddenly, i think of winter, it's near
Just made a wish, hoping snow will fall soon on that day
In a minute, wind touch my eyes softly
"Are you...looking at the same sky as i do now?", i wonder

This is my time love
So let's begin
Want to make my tale interesting
Praying to God, so i got a happy ending

When you're not present, everything seems fine
But no, i think i miss you
Please give me time...

Do you know i'm dying here for you?
Because i'm waiting for you
Do you know i will do anything for you?
Because i'm reaching for you
Do you know God just woke me up?
Because i was ignoring you
Do you know i'm awake now?
Because i know
I love you...

Now i want you to be my side
Now i want you so badly
Now i want you to know that
I love you...

This is my time love
So let's begin
Want to make my tale interesting
Praying to God, so i got a happy ending

The space where you are now
Far way out from here
I'll wait here...
So please come back

When you're not present, everything seems fine
But no, i think i miss you
Please give me time...
Because i know
I love you

tequiero...itsumo

2005-11-09T15:52:00.000+07:00

tequiero tequiero tequiero tequiero tequiero tequiero
tequiero tequiero tequiero tequiero tequiero tequiero
tequiero tequiero tequiero tequiero tequiero tequiero
tequiero tequiero tequiero tequiero tequiero tequiero
tequiero tequiero tequiero tequiero tequiero tequiero
tequiero tequiero tequiero tequiero tequiero tequiero

*blush, run, and hide*

come back plz....arrrggghhh!!!

2005-11-02T11:32:00.000+07:00

Haha, i decided to isolate myself from writing lyric. Coz i realize sumtin's wrong in me. Especially my mind. I need to 'fix' it sumhow. Oh well, Yousuke-sama to Okumura-sama, kimitachi ga suki, muach muach muach <3 XDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD

Another thing that really bother me...well, not bother, just annoying. 'Yaa see, i encounter this 'a fall in love' guy lately. He kept shouting and abuse me everytime we chat. Psst, -the one he love, went to a place, far from here, only a week actually. He kept saying "plz come back, i miss you" to me, duh- How am i suppose to take care this guy???

---------------------------------------------------------------------

I wake up at the early morning and everything is so white and soft
Hmmm, don't think i want to see another dorama
Outside where my shadow is waiting
Sit beside hot stone and glowing water
life is good, afterall

With this plain shirt and short pants
Oh, also silver sandals and bronze necklace too
I walk this world
With music and smile, i face this world
No regret, no fear, no limit

Vision to the heart
Heart to the mind
Mind to the pencil
Pencil to the paper
I do the entertainer

Not as easy as the structure
Start at pm, finish at am
For me, with lyrics, i show you my way
Strange, though, It's all of my feeling that i've never had before
life is good, afterall

With this plain shirt and short pants
Oh, also silver sandals and bronze necklace too
I walk this world
With music and smile, i face this world
No regret, no fear, no limit

by -Don't Be Cruel-

-me r eye-

2005-11-01T16:28:00.000+07:00

Lately, i know, so many things stuck on my mind
A complicated feeling...sad and happy
'Yaa see, there's something that really bothering me
...
'100 orang yg berbeda, memiliki cerita cinta yg berbeda pula'
And semakin byk org yg gw percaya, sebanyak itu pula gw merasakan cerita cinta
Sampai skrg...gw hanya isa menjadi witness for their love's story. Damn, i dun wanna a VIP seat for that. Di sini, rasa sakit dan pedih, gw ga mungkin lolos dr smua itu.
The love smack me and kiss me at the same time, which i can't hold it anymore, but i have to. This is my life yg selama ini gw jalanin and i still live in it.
Is it my fate or my sin...?

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I step it, red carpet and stairs of chocolate
Feeling rich in a blink
I realize, i am in the middle of nowhere
Slap myself, please wake me up
I want to run from this fatamorgana

Story of my pain
The neverending journey
I just want to believe myself
Believe if there is a start, there is an end
Sure! End...come to me...

Take myself away, which is useless
This preasure i posibbly couldn't take
I need the sunshine to wash me up

I try to love
Though, afterall, so hurting me
Someone, tell me the answer
Pardon, nobody knows, only me

In this 'between heaven and hell' place called world
Just an eye with a feeling
Live with these mortals, feel each love
Knowing good and bad sides
Burden on the chest
Now, i can see and feel this
But, i can't have this, not yet

Story of my pain
The neverending journey
I just want to believe myself
Believe if there is a start, there is an end
Sure! I want to end this...

Take myself away, which is useless
This preasure i posibbly couldn't take
I need the moonlight to embrace me

Endless future in endless time
It all lies in front of us
For me, the eye, it's just another love story to hear and see
Once again, another heavy thing to carry

Is it my fate or my sin...?

Have a nice TRIP!!!

2005-10-29T22:59:00.000+07:00

I know i miss you all...the ones who went away from this sleepless city
I wish i can cry it out loud and let you know i'm dying to meet you guys
Slap me, whack me and call me stupid. I don't care. Hell with that.
I promised myself not to sad nor cry. But Keisuke-sama said that if people don't cry, then they won't grow. So...let's cry lah...haha
I felt kinda guilty, not saying 'good morning' in the morning, not saying 'bye' and 'take care' or something when i must do...please forgive this mortal...T^T

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Mood : 'Roman Hikou' by KomeKome Club mix with 'True Heart' by TxT
Song u must listen when u read the lyric : Psycho le Cemu - Ai no Uta (1,6mb, full version) ((right click, save as))

I know deep in my heart,
there is a crying me,
i wish you know.
The vortex of sadness,
the twist of regret,
they are all in me.

"There is a chance to say good bye for the last time"
But i am running away just now
I don't know what happen between us
But i want to believe that i really love you

*This song i wrote, i made it just for you
We, maybe in distance, still i want you to feel this heart
Hey, you there! Have a nice trip!!

Time passed, surely
'Taiyo' takes a peek,
paralyze all the surroundings

It is foolish me, thought i promised you.
Yet, i can't fulfill it, all my words
Cih! You should be on plane by now
But i haven't say anything to you, not even 'hi' before you left

**This song i wrote, i made it just for you
I, maybe a 'baka', you see, still i want you to hear me out
Hey, you there! Have a nice trip!!

This song i wrote, wish the wind can bring you all of these
And i hope your tears won't fall because you're not suppose to cry, wherever you are now

This song i wrote, i made it just for you
We, maybe in distance, still i want you to feel this heart
This song i wrote, i made it just for you
I, maybe a 'baka', you see, still i want you to hear me out
Hey, you there! Have a nice trip!!

((Sato start to wrote today 8.15 pm 'til 10.58 pm))

2005-10-26T23:00:00.000+07:00

Another random thoughts...
It's all about Guan Ping project...
This is one of my work for my very first cosplay i was talking about...
So sleepy doin this alone...
Haven't sleep yet...
*Huuuaaaaaaa......mmmmm*

2005-10-26T22:50:00.000+07:00

Random thoughts...
I miss those days...

2005-10-26T16:16:00.000+07:00

Alas, only sleep 4 hours today...these eyes...hurt...badly...arrggh!!
I slept at 5am til 9am today...i woke up, couldnt sleep anymore, coz i was hungry
And at 10am i sms my friend on campus to ask homework.

-------------------------------------------------
Sato : ey2, how's the presentation? Was it successful or what?
Y : of course successful lah. Hey!! Where the heck u goin on monday? U should be with us presenting our magic blender XD
Sato : Huh? I'm sick. Hehe. Anyway, what's on today?
Y : There ain't no class today, u silly. It's on holiday til 11th Nov.
Sato : WTF??!!!!! I made myself attend the class if i knew it was the last day of our class >.> Dammit! But then, is there any assignment from the lecturer?
Y : Nope, not at all.
Sato : ...errr, ok then. Thx for the info. Have a nice holiday ^^
-------------------------------------------------

After i sms my friend, i was like crazy guy. Jumping around and shout it loud. Not because i'm happy, but pissed off. Holiday without assignment = boring.
And another thing, when the holiday's over, my dad will go to HK. Arrrrgggghhh!!!
I thought i will fail the class on purpose, i dun mind enter the same class twice, I dun care, hell with that!! I'll come with my dad, accompany him to HK. I want and need to see my relatives there =( I miss them so much, they probably shock how tall i am now. The last time they saw me, i was a short boy XDDD~

But wait! I haven't finished my cosplay project +_+ If i went to HK, who's gonna work on it? First, i have trouble in trusting people. So there's ain't no way i will ask people to do my work.
Second, depends on others? Sorry, not my style ;3
This is my very first project. And probably, my very last project also. Haha, it all depends on the situation.

Should i go or should i stay? T^T

Hey, i only sleep 6 hours in last 40 hours...weqs >.> I'll try to have some sleep now...

2005-10-26T04:47:00.000+07:00

It was 4 am more less. I was looking up to the sky above where there were so many shining stars and a half moon. I could see it very clearly. Another beautiful scene i ever seen. Somehow, again, i got an inspiration in writting another lyric. And one thing for sure, i am trying my best not to teasing up people again or hurt people's feeling through my lyrics...plus I need to sleep, havent sleep yet +_+

zzz...

2005-10-26T01:14:00.000+07:00

haiz.....
just had dinner with friends...mix feeling, starts from happy til panic. Ugh.
Anyway, my friend and i thought the foods were few but it could make our stomach full. Me personally thought the foods were so-so, but they got nice GuaiLingGao lol
I dunno if i can have another nice dinner like that anymore...i have a lot of crazy n mad thoughts lately, thinking i wont be able to meet any of them anymore. Haiz...me nowadays really mess up >.> what i am thinking now? not even me know bout that...

Still working on lyrics in this hours...wait, it's 1.11 am more less. Haha, i dunno i'm such a workaholic +_+ Think i'll be able sleep at 4 or 5 am. Until then, there's important task to do. So, i'm using my mind more than usual lately. Hope i can stop soon, i need vacation lol
Hmmm, let see...song song song...

Sato's pick :
1. Koda Kumi - 24 from SECRET album
reff :

I try to be with you
But you're so far away
Wanna be with you
24hours
Try to be with you
I hope that you will come to me
Wanna hold you tight all night long

comment : slow...supaa nice...whooaa!!

2. Baby Boo - Sayonara itsu no hi ka from Travelogue
(credits to SINNER....muach muach muach, kimi ga suki)

comment : accoustic...not too slow...it's ACAPELLA..YAY!! *4 thumbs up* XD~

2005-10-25T12:20:00.000+07:00

Sooo sleepy...can't sleep since yesterday. Not too long after midnight, still in front of PC. Strange sounds keep on comin' from balcony n top of my room. Not to mention a sound of a man put a glass on the round table at downstairs. I did found it but I dunno if it's following me or not. It from one of a mall near my house, it appeared in ATM centre at ground level. Plus, i dunno if it's demon or ghost. Anyway maybe it hate me, because i was in their territories.....but HEY!! This is a human world nee~ They're not suppose to be here...

Haha, they just kept bothering me until dawn, imagine how you annoyed with weird sounds for the next 5 hours after midnight. I think their sounds might be useful for a night camp....hohoho. You may bother me in my home sweet home, It's better since all my friends go offline already. So my surrounding will be a lil bit more noisy. Come visit me anytime nee~!

Uh-uh, it was 6 am, couldn't sleep. So i went jogging a lil. I know my body is not as strong as i was in 2nd grade of high school. It just keep on weak'in, think need to recover my body once more. If in high school, i used both mind n physic. But now, i use mind only. I only think that day by day, i'm like an old processor which overheat so many times +_+
I should find something to eat, then go to sleep...maybe for an hour or two.

life is good, my friends, life is GOOD

A long journey after falls

2005-10-24T23:58:00.000+07:00

Actually, i have a class. But then, i absent for today. I didn't know what i was thinking.

Something DID happen. I realize i might be hurt someone's feeling. My head is full of thoughts. Bad thoughts. I know soon i must verify everything to everybody. Damn, i was doing a lot of sins lately, ugh. Should i alter my face once again to change my attitude? We'll see about that soon...
Anyway, i wrote something (again) about myself. Well, sorta. *tuink tuink*

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Once i arrived in land of unknown
Once i hear a voice, a beautiful voice
"You won't grow if you don't cry"
My tears are falling so many times
Unlimited

I have died
In so long struggle
Future is ahead
It is unreachable

It must be, it must be you
Just a person indeed, it must be you
Who's the one that always make me cry?
Just a person indeed, It must be you

I turned out to be a traveler
Not too long, after you disappeared
Always told myself, be with you is a burden
Why do my love become hate?

Can't you see? It is my solitude
It make me both live and die
Can't you see? It is my solitude
Strong enough to keep this fragile heart

It must be, It must be you
Just a person indeed, It must be you
I thought you were part of my ribs
Just a person indeed, It must be you

Just only you and me
let's live in a dream, where there is happiness
Please don't go now, I can't live without you

It must be, it must be you
Just a person indeed, it must be you
Who's the one that always make me cry?
Just a person indeed, It must be you

It must be, It must be you
Just a person indeed, It must be you
I thought you were part of my ribs
Just a person indeed, It must be you

I was wandering around
Hoping find you somewhere somehow sometime
Your beauty fragance still dancing on my skin
I will keep searching while i'm singing with a walnut

I love you and...

2005-10-21T15:24:00.000+07:00

Yesterday, was my another 'silent' night
I felt i could relax more than ever
So, i took my time to check people's blogs
Who knows i would find some inspiration...nee~?

And so, i was attracted with this cute blog
I read over, and i found some pieces of 'story' that was blur to me, because i was like reading the A part only.
After i read over and over again, i felt somehow, somebody was whispering me the B part which related with her story.
"Haha, another love story is now revealed.", I said. I thought i knew her whole story now.

Then, i decided to make something...hope you there realize i was making this lyric for you.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

As soon i want to be there
Beside you in your heart
I want you to call this moment, as "love"

This hot weather reminds me a tale
Another sweet memories, another love story
All i can think of is you
I watched you over from distance
not in place, but in heart

Hiding this feeling towards you
Trying to get near you, as near as possible
Ah, i feel so happy, but then...
People talking about us, which made a gap appears
Me and you, both of us, couldn't get each other anymore
I don't know why i did felt so sad

I, then, realized that love is appeared between us
Not in you, but in me
Automatically, i am carving the ice of my feeling into a heart shape

As soon i want to be there
Beside you in your heart
I want you to call this moment, as "love"

Yet, you don't know your existance in me
What are you thinking?
One told, you were looking for one to be with
How sad, my vision turned into vivid blue
I'm nothing, but friend of you
It was your thinking, right?

I, then, realized when it was too late
Not in you, but in me
I love you, I want you to be by my side, don't you see that?

As soon i want to be there
Beside you in your heart
I want you to call this moment, as "love"

There are a lot of thoughts in mind
I was afraid to lose you
No matter what, i won't lose my love anymore
If it was true, you were gone
I'll chase you, this neverending-run

As soon i want to be there
Beside you in your heart
I want you to be able to call me
Not as a friend, but as a lover
I'm sure, will treasure this forever

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Hope you know who i was talking about...haha

why...me...why...?

2005-10-20T23:35:00.000+07:00

Today, i saw a full moon, pale one.
There are lots of dark clouds covering the moon.
Also i saw stars, a lot more than before.
But after that, something pop-up in my brain.
I smiled...i was thinking about you...
For a moment, i thought life is good...again.
I was thinking how many secret i have kept...
They...people...just gave it to me...I'm not your trash can ~.~;;
I felt so much honour sometimes, people can believe in me in other way...
It just i don't understand why, i was afraid to ask the truth...
I do help so many people, but couldn't help myself out...
It is same with a doctor who can't cure his own disease...
It is same with a carpenter who live in a hut...
It is same with a farmer who can't get enough rice...

Until now, i still searching someone that is understand me at all...
That i wish i can be with forever, be my side, walk this life together...
But then...once again...i can't help myself out...
Ooh, if it is my true destiny, i can't fight it...
Afterall, life is good, my friends, life is GOOD...

A minus Deja vu

2005-10-18T18:28:00.000+07:00

It was cold outside
There's no cloud, nor sun, nor moon
Just yellow leaves and smell of soil

I was in a cage of time
An angel took me for a vision
Searching for an answer
Alas, nobody has it

This nightmare, this soul
Trapped in a slide
Whenever i went up
That time i went down
Even more...

Screaming of spirit...
I thought...
Heard before one...
I dreamt of...

God, send someone for me
I just hope that
to explain this empty mind
to pull me out
from the 'other side' world

------------------------------------------------

It's for you, 'you-know-who', it's for you

The last man's dream

2005-10-17T06:08:00.000+07:00

((Sato wrote this lyric on 7 October 2005, 11.57 PM, right before he was a half drunk, right before 'Itsumo, Itsumo' was created. He still overjoyed.))

I found the one i loved
So many times, indeed
But i run like a wind
Shadow of fear keep on following me

I'm dreaming of a perfect human being
That i wish can be with 'til the end of time
But one said that's only a story
A sweet story in a sweet novel

Words won't work
When one fell in love
But i was thinking what he said
And i think i shouldn't search a perfect one...

Waited! I saw her through my car's windows
Seems usual, but then...
Wish you were my darling
I will wait until you fell asleep

No, no, i want you to believe me
Oh yes, darling...my sweetest darling...
Let me walk beside you now, then, and last forever

I don't want to give so many promises
Hope you don't get disappointed with my decision
It is reality that i face
Even if we almost agreed on everything, still so many i wish to see...

Wait! Funny to say this
I still wondering why...why you?
Unique? Maybe. Complicated? Absolutely

I can't say you're special
On the second thought, i doubt it
How to say it?
God, please give me strength to say it

I don't want to give so many compliments
Hope you don't get disappointed with my decision
It is not a dream i face
Even if we always agreed on everything, still so many i wish to see...

Wait! You're no perfect. But attractive.
Alas, you're so hard to reach.
I'm speechless somehow
Now tell me what should i do?

((Sato finished the lyric on 8 October 2005, 1.01 AM. Mixed feeling, Joy and depressed.))

untitled broken heart

2005-10-17T01:56:00.000+07:00

Sweet clouds like a candy, kissing the dark sky
The atmosphere was surely different tonight
Thousand of tiny stars, whistling around the blue moon
The winds sing a song with a beautyful harmony

I feel like i was riding a bike in the sky
It was full of joy and a kid's happiness
When you were with me, i tasted all the sweetest things
But then, why these tears keep on falling?

People's heart was walking quietly in the dark of night
The silence took over the laugh of the dancing moonlight
It was so peaceful on every side, in the restless city
But then, why these tears keep on falling?

Why is my heart so fragile? Ooh, my life...
Am i making myself so pathetic? Ooh, my destiny...
What is the use of the answer i found if the answer is you? Ooh, my beloved...
Why did i found out it was you who always hurt me? Ooh, my darling...

Itsumo, itsumo

2005-10-15T20:34:00.000+07:00

((Sato wrote this lyric on 8 October 2005, 1.02 AM, while he was overjoyed and a half drunk))

Always, always, somehow, somewhere
I forgot myself, I fell in love
But Love is something natural
You just don't know when it comes

Ah yes! i remembered when we first met
A little bit strange, but i was happy
When you smiled, there's something tinkling in my brain
Everytime you looked at me, i wonder what are you thinking now

Wish i can ask you for a date...
I want us, both have a good time
Wish i can ask you for a dinner...
Candlelight? It will be a romantic one, yes?
So, will you go out with me?

Those eyes, those smiled, those aura
My heart is pounding fast and hard
I want to see you happy, but...
Sometimes you give me no room to breath

Lose control of yourself, you just hide it
You just can't, your silence told me all
But hey! It is not a sad song
Let's have fun together, shall we?

Wish i can ask you for a lunch...
Wait! short message just arrived on my cellphone
"Where are you? I'm ready now."
Ah! It must be you. What should we eat?
Bento box? Fettucine? After you...

Keep our story as secret
That place, that time
You are the one i love
Even i'm just a dreamer

((Because Sato was a half drunk, he forgot to write the time he finished it. Plus he almost ATE this lyric that written on the piece of paper, because he thought it was a piece of PIZZA. God, please wake him up.))

Sakura Tree

2005-10-15T14:18:00.000+07:00

That sakura tree, blooming beautifully, fall gracefully
The bright pink colour, make them so sweet
The wind's blowing soft to you, to sakura tree, to my heart
It feel so comfortable, when it all come

Hey, do you remember?
When me and you met each other, under that tree, sakura tree?
We just put our head down, couldn't say a thing, how shameful
But i made myself brave to say 'hi'
I was so glad that you responded me,
even must waited a minute for the answer

Once we talked, i didn't know you were so loud
I didn't know whether i must laugh or keep listening
But i was very happy that we could chat like this

And finally that time had come,
you expressed your feeling to me
The truth revealing which made me shocked
We had been a couple since that day
We smile, we cry, we laugh, we did all together
I was really fell to you, really

That sakura tree, blooming beautifully, fall gracefully
The bright pink colour, make them so sweet
The wind's blowing soft to you, to sakura tree, to my heart
It feel so comfortable, until i know it's all gone

Time went, it wouldn't come back
I wish it did come back
The time you must left the town,
you promised me, you would come back in no time
"Where are you now?" I questioned you

You sent me letters, saying would be back
Time is near now, time when you will come to me once again
Finally, you have come. With smile you've got everyday,
the smile that you always give me

'Thank you" you said, for waiting even it was a hard thing to do
Why thank you? Silly! I'm the one should say that
I cry these tears because you are back now
Now we're together again, until do us apart

That sakura tree, blooming beautifully, fall gracefully
The bright pink colour, make them so sweet
The wind's blowing soft to you, to sakura tree, to my heart
It feel so comfortable, when it all come

I feel no sad, no hate, no disobediance...
It's all sweet and perfect, like seeing the sakura tree...

My dad is back! Weeeeee...!!

2005-10-15T02:03:00.000+07:00

Dad just came back from Hong Kong, went there for medical check up. He brought us some gifts. He bought my mom a purse and a handbag. And he bought me some brand new ties, a tie clip, and a wallet. Oh yea, also a new eyelases curler. Yiipeee!! Now i'm learning how to use the curler XDDD

Quote 1 : Dad is back!!! *run like an overexcited dog, take the suitcase, made some tea*
Quote 2 : Dad is back... *shut down the PC, take a blanket, go to sleep*

3rd Station!

2005-10-15T00:20:00.000+07:00

3rd Station!

It's sailing day!!! YAY!!!

2005-10-14T13:57:00.000+07:00

(Sato wrote these lyric on 7 Oct 2005 11.03 PM)
Thousand of blue waves are chasing me
Wish i can drive them back
But you see i'm just a dreamer

There is nothing, nothing really i can do
One by one, being wiped by them
But i won't stop here
Just keep sailing...!!!

Everyday is sailing day
I think i'm between heaven and hell
In the ocean, too many colours, you can seek if you want
Come with me and let us take a peek...!!

Life is like living in the ocean
The waves of problems keep on coming
Don't you afraid, it will somehow make you strong after you overcame it

The streams of fate lead you to the path you walk
It really all depend on how you row the boat

Everyday is sailing day
You will feel living between heaven and hell
Mother of nature and Father of time will show you all the colours of life
When you were in the ocean...

Whatever happen, oh let it be
Face it, overcome your fear, be a winner
Don't be scare. I will be there when you need me
Just call me, i will try my best to guide you through days and nights

(Sato finished the lyric on 7 Oct 2005 11.46 PM)

Luv Sato...muaaach!! ^o^

Futari no Natsu Monogatari

2005-10-14T13:56:00.000+07:00

((Sato forgot when he wrote this lyric...))

Tears are holding me alone, this heavy weight i carry
The past written all over my face, the sad one
I'm here to keep my memories frozen, two lovers' summer

Rolling waves and waving coconut trees,
the view of the beach, it is so nice.
Same feeling with me whenever i saw you,
the wind blew on your hair.

I am sure your smile is the cutest one.
Wish you did not smile at me all the time, i am blushed
But no, please go on. Seeing your smile,
liked having gold dust on my hand

Tears are holding me alone, this heavy weight i carry
The pass written all over my face, the sad one
The two of us were standing on the seaside,
the time is almost over for two lovers' summer

We chatted regularly, like it is on our schedule every night
That was the last night we talked
You said, "Don't forget me.", which made me want to cry

Now tell me how i can forget you?
From worst to best memories with you,
it all stored in my mind
It felt like you hit my head with a rock,
when you said you wanted to leave this place

Tears are holding me alone, this heavy weight i carry
The past written all over my face, the sad one
Well, i am sure we will meet again. I believe in God.

My story won't stop here...

tears are holding me alone, this heay weight i carry
The past written all over my face, the sad one
When the time is almost over for two lovers' summer,
I am here to keep keep the memories frozen...The two lovers' summer

((But then, Sato finally remembered, not in details, though. He made this lyric when he was on third grade of high school))

request : 7 things

2005-10-14T13:54:00.000+07:00

7 things that scare the hell outta me
1. Dad goin' mad
2. robberssss
3. not on time
4. failed on my term
5. my dearest plant goin' to die
6. crush on another 'guy'
7. crush on a girl...(~.~;;)

7 things/people I love most
1. family
2. close friends
3. RF poster
4. RF cd
5. my magazines with RF in it
6. my plant
7. RF's guys

7 important stuff in my room
1. PC
2. Poetry book
3. Wise words book
4. English dictionary (bad english NIEH!!!)
5. leadership book called 'A chinese art of L.E.A.D.E.R.S.H.I.P' (Lead +10 w00t!!)
6. cellphonessss
7. Air Conditioner (???)

7 random facts about me...
1. introvert
2. as lazy as Shikamaru (doh! plz d)
3. i luv shortcakes
4. also muffin
5. for some stupid reason, i like to eat paper >.>
6. easy to laugh
7. easy to be laughed

7 things I plan to do before I kick the bucket..
1. Visit the temple of Zhuge Liang aka Kong Ming
2. See the largest buddha statue in the world (located in China)
3. confess my sins
4. cosplay all Shu Officers except female chars
5. build a music studio
6. make my family proud of me
7. pay Rag Fair to sing on my funeral...(requesting 'Kimi de Nakareba')

7 things that I can do
1. makin' lyrics
2. scratching my back
3. disturb other people while working
4. see ghost
5. drive car
6. crying watching dorama
7. fishing

7 things I can't do
1. leave my friends who need help (sengsara sendiri klo gw bantuin! Arrggghh!!!)
2. Anything related with textile
3. craft a weapon
4. aim the target
5. speak japanese fluently
6. speak mandarin fluently
7. mad at someone

7 things I say the most
1. bah!
2. ckckck
3. beh!
4. hah?
5. kurang ajarrrr...!
6. wele2
7. alooo...^o^

7 celeb crushes
1. Okumura Masayoshi *blush*
2. Yousuke Heikichi *blush*
3. Reo Tsuchiya *blush*
4. Katou Yoshiyuki *blush*
5. Hikaru (hinoi)
6. Keika Matsuoka
7. Rina (hinoi)

7 People who have to do this
1. Ellen
2. Natsuo
3. jack
4. Octo
5. hattorihanzo
6. Mouseahollic
7. Children

dgn gini, tuntas suda 1 mslh. Ga cman 1 seh, maseh ad lg XDDD
@Tze2 : 7 things? DONE!

hmm...

2005-10-14T10:57:00.000+07:00

testing the layout...

HANA

2005-09-23T15:09:00.000+07:00

(Sato started to write the lyrics on 18th Sept '05, 20.06 wib)

This world is full of love
Put everything in it
This heart is full of hopes
Miracle surely does exists

This funny friendship thing
It is always follow you
This path wherever you go
Let it lead to the truth you seek

(Sato stopped to write thr lyrics on 18th Sept '05, 21.30 wib. Then he started again to write on 18th Sept '05, 22.50 wib)

Just be strong in your soul and always be happy
The sun and The moon will give their smiles
You have nothing to be fear now
Everybody is here and be with you

It is like blooming flowers in the morning
They are all need something called fresh sunlight
Like we, human being need love, like those flowers
All i need is to see your joy of life

Life is so hard, i know
But the other side is beautiful
All you need is move straight forward
You can't give up now
No worry, i'll be there in your heart
Just put your trust in me and please don't let your smile, go away, forever now

Tears seem so meaningless but could be meaningful
It all depends on the feeling
You must see that you are not alone
Always remember friendships never ends

It is like blooming flowers in the morning
They are all need something called fresh sunlight
Like we, human being need love, like those flowers
All i need is to see your joy of life

(Sato stopped to write on 18th Sept '05, 23.42 wib. Then he started again to write on 19th Sept '05 at night, but he forgot to check what time he began to write.)

It is like blooming flowers in the morning
They are all need something called fresh sunlight
Like we, human being need love, like those flowers
Let the winds carry on our life

It is like blooming flowers in the morning
They are all need something called fresh sunlight
Like we, human being need love, like those flowers
All you need is freedom of your life
All i need is to see your joy of life

(Sato just finished his lyrics on 19th Sept '05, 23.11 wib)

. : : さと の intermezzo : : .

My tale...

Not again...

squash squash squash

lung's problem

New record!!

AV

A new life...

Coming soon...

Boku wa bakayarou...

what a day...whoooaaa...!!

solitude

Time to go

Arigatou yo~o...!!!

No way...!!!

Secret Keeper

Wednesday without mercy!

It's Tuesday!!

monday is OK lah!!

Ven, i'm in love

tequiero...itsumo

come back plz....arrrggghhh!!!

-me r eye-

Have a nice TRIP!!!

A long journey after falls

I love you and...

why...me...why...?

A minus Deja vu

The last man's dream

untitled broken heart

Itsumo, itsumo

Sakura Tree

My dad is back! Weeeeee...!!

3rd Station!

It's sailing day!!! YAY!!!

Futari no Natsu Monogatari

request : 7 things

hmm...

HANA

. : : さとの intermezzo : : .